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A man goes to the doctors complaining of severe headaches. The Doc checks him up and down and cant find anything, he sends him for every kind of test in the book, MRI, X-rays, everything, nothing. Finally the doctor comes to the conclusion and says to the man "the only thing left is castration".

The man is obviously distraught, he realises the doctors have tried everything and this must really be the last straw, so he agrees.

A week after the operation he is let out of hospital and lo and behold, no more headaches. But the man is devasted now at only being half a man so he decides, on his walk home, to buy himself a suit to make him feel better.

He goes into the tailors and tells the tailor he wants everything down to the underwear, the tailor agrees and gets him up on the stand in front of the mirror.

"I'd say you're about a 42 chest?" says the tailor.

"Yeah" says the man "how did you know that?"

"I can tell any measurement from lookin pretty much, I think you're a 32 waist, 34 leg, size 9 shoe and a medium boxers"

"Wow" says the man "thats amazing, everything right except one, I'm a small boxers"

"Na you're not" says the tailor "wearing a small boxers will squeeze your balls and give you headaches"


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An Irishman, Aussie and a Glaswegian in a bar spot Jesus sat on his own. They each send him a drink and Jesus sups them slowly.

When he's finished, he walks up to the Irishman, shakes his hand and thanks him for the Guiness. "Blimey", says the Irishman "My arthritis is completely gone!”

Jesus then thanks the Aussie for the Fosters; "Crikey", exclaims the Aussie, "My bad back's cured!”

Jesus then approaches the Glaswegian who promptly scarpers, yelling back "**** OFF, I'M ON DISABILITY BENEFIT!!!"

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A man went to see his doctor.

'You need to stop mas tur ......